Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
