If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
