can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
