dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
