After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
