4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
