i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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