its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
