He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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