Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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