I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
