i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
