I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
