Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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