First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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