You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
NoShamevember. You game?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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