Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
