The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
