He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
