Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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