If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
