In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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