I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
