2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
