woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
