what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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