he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
