How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
