Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
