ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
