And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
