summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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