My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
