oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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