Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
