One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the gays at disneyland are vicious
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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