dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The power of my boobs compel you
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
