Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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