Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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