girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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