Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this boner is exhausting
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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