You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
