I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
