have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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