I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
