Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
