i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
