i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
