I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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