I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
