lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
